Back in school days, we used to have really strict seating arrangements, monitors kept a constant watch on everybody to make sure nobody changed their bench partners. We all were super scared of them, Why shouldn’t we be? two monitors (one boy, one girl) were allotted by the class teacher every year, and for that purpose, the teachers did intense research on our past academic & behavioral records to choose the two most entitled ‘ass-lickers’ ever born in this world, ready to screw you at any given time. Well, so the teacher made me sit by this nerdy looking new admission guy whom I will have to bear for one year because changing places wasn’t an option and lying to the monitor about my place near to impossible.
He seemed like an okay fellow, liked to play chess, was mischievous but didn’t get caught, unlike me.
Every class used to have an assembly week twice or thrice a year, where all the students of that class would go to the assembly hall and do the prayers, pledges and so, in front of a mic that will live broadcast the show to the entire school via speakers installed on every floor. This was so boring that I would have preferred going to school on four extra Sundays than attend this... My new friend felt the same about it, we had similar opinions on a lot of things.
So we decided to hide under the last bench while everyone left for the assembly hall, and we did. The monitor had a confused chimpanzee face when she realized that the number of people leaving for the assembly was not equal to that day’s attendance data. I pity that girl so much, she didn’t have a life. Much to our surprise, she left without doing any more checks, we high-fived and cheered for we had successfully fooled the ‘school system’. We had never thought that this plan will succeed, so evidently, we had no idea what we would do in this 15 minutes of extra free time we had earned by pure badassery! The first lecture was math, so we decided to keep our geometry boxes and notebooks out on the desks beforehand because we were absolutely jobless. All of a sudden, my crime partner picks up a divider (fig.1), and very calmly asks, “Anuj, I wonder what this is used for, do you know?”, I say I don’t know either. By this time, the assembly had started and we could hear the pledge being narrated through the huge speakers installed. My friend then inserts the divider in one of these (fig. 2). This socket was situated very low, near the last bench, it was kind of hidden and not many students knew about its presence.
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| figure 2 |
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| figure 1 |
For some childish reason, I found the divider in a wall socket scene funny… We laughed. Then, we collectively decided to turn on the button, and we did. Oh, good lord, the socket pops like popcorn, the speaker bursts before making a loud ‘poofff!’ noise and the lights of the lobby go out… complete silence! There was some sunlight coming in from our class window, but the lobby outside was pitch dark, after some time we heard footsteps and indistinct shouting from the lobby. We knew we were fucked. Big time. We looked at each other, we were cold sweating. I gently turned off the disfigured button covered in some black sooty matter and removed the divider, while he cleared the smoke by waving his hands anxiously. I poured some water on my tie and wiped the black residue off the switchboard. The part of the wall surrounding the switchboard, now with sooty stains was painted by my friend with a whitener.
We then crouched and hid under the last bench, the generator back up was switched on after some time, but the speakers never resumed. The class came back early that day, we got to hear rumors like the speakers of so and so floor caught fire and blasted, while some said that the office computers also got ruined. We decided to play along, add things to the rumors, and joke about it - but on the inside, we were damn terrified, just wanted to go home that day.
Yep, you guessed it, it was a loooong day at school.
The next day, everything seemed normal, except, the speakers didn’t play the assembly. We knew that there was no way they will be able to trace us. The fifth lecture is interrupted by a knock on the door, I and my friend were playing cross-and-zeroes when suddenly the PT sir walks in with an electrician, they come inside glance here and there, trying to find the circuit board which was right above our bench. So my friend quickly covers the ruined electric socket with his bag, and we move out to give way to the electrician. He takes a close look at the circuit, and “sir!!” he bawls. This was it, we knew we’ll have to pay for the entire 10-12 speaker set-up to the school - I didn’t know how much it would amount to - but yea, definitely a lot more than the canteen money I had in my pocket. He says, “Sir!!, idhar toh humne fuse lagaya hi nahi thha.. Mera bag laao jara” he takes out a fuse and fits it in the slot. Then, both of them just go outside, saying they’ll return shortly but they never do.
The speakers didn’t play anything for the next one month, and after we returned from our Diwali vacations the school had a brand new speaker set - they were mat grey, with a fancy design installed on every floor and played ‘Vande Mataram’ so well, unlike any other speakers in the world - everyone praised the new speakers and rumors had that they were imported from Germany and costed 3 times our school fees.
I just got off a phone call with this buddy of mine, he had left school after 10th grade to pursue commerce while I stayed back for my 11th & 12th. We met after our 12th board exams, for some birding together, he’s still fun to be around with and a great birding/herping buddy.